Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Gay men and elderly parents: relatively little has been written so far about this

There has not been a lot of attention yet from the gay press on the issues that gay men may face when caring for elderly parents, especially if the gay men themselves are older and from previous generations with more closed-minded social “standards”.

There is an article by John R. Ballew “Gay Men and Elderly Parents: how do you care for parents and also care for yourself?” link here.

Ballew mentions, at least in tangent, the “only child issue”.

There is an element of family responsibility that occurs beyond the scope of one’s own choices (which is the way we see having children: a choice with consequences defines the moral climate, but that’s not true here).
This is likely to become a more noticeable issue in the future, as families are smaller, and as states with filial responsibility laws and strapped for Medicaid cash might start enforcing them.

In her 2008 book “Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage”, American University law professor made a disturbing speculation; see posting on this blog Sept. 22, 2008; Book Review blog, Sept. 21, 2008; Retirement blog Sept. 22, 2008.)

There are stories about gay couples who have cared for elderly parents well in their homes. It does help to have a partner from your own community and a relationship of your own choice first. In that regard, the gay marriage issue again becomes important. There’s another element: gay men (as do men in general) may resist personal intimacy with others dictated by the needs of others until they can have relationships of their own choosing and volition first.

No comments: