Monday, August 20, 2012

What bothers social conservatives? The threat to passion in their own marriages


Once again, the Washington Times opinion page goes on a non-rational rant, this time by Matio Diaz,
“Democrats continue to beat up Christians: Homosexual agenda on national display”, link

Of course, he offers no logic as to how the freedom of gays to marry (partners of choice) undermines heterosexual marriages.  And he seems to play the persecution card, as if not being allowed to demand expropriation from others not of your faith was itself oppression. It sounds like group-think in a conservative paper.

A recently widely syndicated column by Carolyn Hax in the rival Washington Post, Aug. 15, may give a clue as to what bothers straight marriage. The column was titled “Married young, and his idea of passion has passed”, link

While we would all admire a passionless couple that stays together to raise the kids that they “chose” to have (and well they should), that may miss an important point.  It’s hard to maintain passion for the same person for decades while the person ages and deteriorates physically, unless you have been socialized into meeting the real needs of others; and it may be hard for some people if you don’t think everyone else has to do the same thing.  But of course, the same observation could turn out to be true for same-sex marriage.  But complementarity (as the Vatican sees it) doesn’t seem to keep couples together if they don’t see others around them socialized by the same goals.

In fact, an important part of parental training early in life is “socialization” – learning when it’s “about you” and when it isn’t.  But the “range” of your social bearing – the circles of communities around you, keep changing, as do the moral validity of their collective goals.  You don’t like to be put on teams not of your choice, but that’s what the religious right wants to keep the authority to do. 

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